Back - for longer!!!

sooooo, here I am

And believe it or not, I actually have time to talk about my life and what's going on in it...

So, first of all, let me say something about guys: You just don't get them...they're complicated, most of the time they don't know what they want, but of course you have to know exactly what you want. You can't live with them and you can't live without them!!!

So, I have 3 guys in my life right now...and I guess I should be the happiest girl alive...but things are soo srcewed up I sometimes wish there was no guy at all...

So first runner up: Berni

Well, he fell in love with me....I think I even wrote that down sometime last month...anyway, I find out that he has a girlfriend although he is sooo in love with me, and he can't stop thinking of me..and I'm sooo special to him...blablabla    He hasn't got the courage to tell it to my face that he has a girlfriend, NO!!! I had my best friend tell me that....now don't get me wrong...he really isn't my typ of guy...I don't want him...I'm just pissed of by the fact that he loves me but gets a girlfriend behind my back...that's just not right...and the best thing is...he wrote me a message yesterday...I just have to write it down:

Hey Jessy, I know that what I did really sucked, and I understand if you're disappointed in me or what ever, but do you really think that the feelings for you are just gone!? No they're not, they're still there and they will stay, because you're just a great girl and I don't want to loose you, but do you think that saying nothing is better than talking to me?! I want to talk to you!!

So there you go....that just pissed me off sooooo badly....I don't know why but....god...I really don't want to talk about it anymore...I would love to just tell him to go to hell...but then he might kill himself or something...so I'll just leave things the way they are...unsaid...

Okay...on to nicer things...guy nr two Vlad

So this is where it gets tricky.....He's my best friend brother...and he really likes me...alot...and I like him too...I just don't know him enough to be together with him...and he really doesn't know me...trust me...he doesn't !!!! So, I know, everyone says "get to know him" but I'm scared of that...and my best friend isn't really a big help either....it's her brother..of course she thinks he's great...but he's not my brother...it's different...I had sooo many guys who wanted a relationship with me...and I always blocked, and I really hate myself for that...and I keep thinking if you let this guy drop...lord knows when the next one will come around!!!! But if there are just no feelings there....what am I suppoesed to do???? (oh and by the way...this isn't against you dorni...it's just...I feel like you're trying to make me be his grilfriend...and I don't want that...don push me...I know you only want to help me...) 

Good....last but not least Ali

I met Ali in my class at school....he's really nice...you just have to meet him...he lives near my working place...which makes it easy to meet him...well...I think I developed a thing for him...he's really cute...and he doesn't have a girlfriend...we talk alot...and we love to fool around...and the best thing was: during class....one of our teachers asked us if we could continue to flirt later....but we weren't flirting...at least he wasn't *g* I was....but hey...what can you do....

So, he's my callboy now...at least that's what he says...I can reach him from 0-6 o'clock....but I never use that.....he wrote to me a couple of days ago...and my heart somehow made a jump when I read that the message was from him...

Anyway....you can see my problem...three guys...one me...and I really don't know what to do...along come the problems at my working place...which I really don't want to get started on...

One thing's for sure...I'm going to give Vlad a chance...someday *g* I still have a week to do that....and a little piece of me hopes that Ali will give me a chance...

Well, this is where I stop...comments if you have any...help will be very appreciated!!!! 

 

Love ya

Jessy

 Oh, and of course...the song of the day:

 Barenaked Ladies - Pinch me

It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess.
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on.
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Pinch Me
Pinch Me
Cos I'm still asleep.
Please God
Tell Me
That I'm still asleep

On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I Packed the car and leave this town
Who will notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Try to figure out what all this is for.

31.10.07 13:29

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